Just so we know what we’re talking about, let’s define this literary genre. I looked up several definitions, but this one from Wiki says it best:
A memoir is any nonfiction narrative writing based in the author’s personal memories. The assertions made in the work are thus understood to be factual. While memoir has historically been defined as a subcategory of biography or autobiography since the late 20th century, the genre is differentiated in form, presenting a narrowed focus. A biography or autobiography tells the story “of a life”, while a memoir often tells the story of a particular event or time, such as touchstone moments and turning points…
Allow me to clarify some terms.
“Nonfiction” means the story is true, not made up. This eliminates stories based on the author’s life, but altered to concoct a more exciting story. ”A Million Little Pieces”, by James Frey, comes to mind. I discovered Frey’s book long before he got exposed for fact-changing, but have to admit it was a wild, irresistible tale—even though I immediately questioned whether his dentist really drilled his teeth without ANY anesthetic. Other so-called memoirs have been exposed as completely made up, but fortunately, this is the rare exception, not the rule.
“Narrative writing” means it tells a story. The best memoirs have a beginning, middle, and end—a story arc—just like a novel. Memoirists use all the tools of storytelling (except making things up) to make their personal stories lively and accessible. However, they may pay more attention to how the main character (him/herself) was feeling—or how she looks back on those events years later–than you’ll find in many novels.
The “touchstone moments” in a memoir’s storyline are key to a strong memoir, and the best memoirs have a theme (or several) that ties the events together. When I wrote Paradise Road, there were countless less-related stories I could have included—but didn’t. My readers don’t need or want to know all the details of my childhood, and I only included episodes that relate to my journey in seeking love, meaning, and connection—the main theme of my memoir. Therefore, my brothers barely get a mention, even though they obviously were a big part of my childhood. I didn’t get into school life, family camping trips, my extended family etc., because these aspects weren’t pertinent to the story I wanted to tell.
Some well-intended but less skillful memoirs fall into the “autobiography” category because their authors don’t have a defined theme, and they try to tell everything. Another danger is falling into too much other detail, such as recounting long conversations that don’t really add to the story, or going overboard on descriptions when a few choice words or sentences will do.
Other memoirs fall flat because they’re written too soon, before the author has finished processing the trauma or events being related. The best memoirs carry a strong sense of reflection and perspective, a revealing of the writer’s thoughts/attitudes then and now.
Some told-too-soon memoirs flounder in unresolved bitterness and blame, leaving a bad taste in the reader’s mouth. As readers, we want to see how the person portrayed in the memoir has grown and changed through her experiences, not reach the last chapter and realize she hasn’t really evolved or reached a deeper understanding.
I hope this is helpful. What about you? What elements make your favorite memoirs stand out? Have you read any memoirs that seem scattered, unfocused, or unresolved? (No need to name titles here, please!) What do you look for in choosing a memoir?